Searchers snippets March 2026
LOVE PORTION?
JC called me the other day via Face Time, he being John McNally junior who resides in Switzerland with his own enclave of the extended McNally family. Young John always keeps in touch with his ‘uncle Frank’ and it`s always a pleasure to have our regular chats. I’m very proud to be his honorary uncle.
As is usually the case we talked again of that magical day at Glastonbury where he joined us on stage to help out on Love Potion Number 9. While waiting for his turn he stood at the side of the podium next to the stage manager who, amazed by the size (a capacity crowd of 6,000) and enthusiasm of the audience remarked with complete astonishment, “I`ve never seen anything like this in the acoustic tent”. Praise indeed from one who must have seen it all over the years at the greatest festival of all.
While on the line he showed me a present he had received from a chum in Tokyo, a Japanese release of Love Potion Number 9 with its original sleeve and informative text. That record, as you probably know, was our greatest U.S hit reaching number 3 in the charts.
As you might expect then Japanese translation did contain some errors. That particular song always seems to confuse people. I used to make a quip in our show pointing out the times we have seen it on a foreign poster, normally Germany, as Love Position Number 9. I would then joke that it was the Irish version of 69 in which you only use one person. Today I might easily run the risk of being cancelled after accusation of racial hatred. The world really seems to have lost its sense of humour these days. Ireland is a beautiful country, the Irish are lovely people and I dearly hope this gentle jibe would not upset them in the least. If it does then I apologise.
Anyway, The sleeve of the disc also reproduced the lyrics of the song, or at least the Japanese interpretation of what they perceive to be the lyrics, and they really are very amusing. I`ve put those alongside the true text so you can see the difference and possibly answer and queries you have long held over this song and its puzzling words. Firstly check out the subtle difference of the Japanese title as printed on the sleeve.
JAPAN
Love Portion No 9
UK
Love Potion No 9
I took my troubles down to Madam Roux
You know that gypsy with the gold tattoo
She`s got a path and a very potent mine
Selling little bottles of love potion number 9
I told her that I was a foppery jinx
I`ve been this way since 1956
She looked at my palm and she made a mighty sign
She said “What you need is love potion number 9”
She bent down and turned round and gave me a wink
She said “I`m gonna make it up right here in the sink”
It smelled like turpentine it looked like India ink
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink
I didn`t know if it was day or night
I started kissing everything in sight
But when I kissed the cop I bet it broke his mind
He broke my little bottle of love potion number 9
I took my troubles down to Madam Ruth
You know the gypsy with the gold capped tooth
She`s got a pad down on 34th and Vine
Selling little bottles of love potion number 9
I told her that I was a flop with chicks
I`ve been this way since 1956
She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign
She said “What you need is love potion number 9”
She bent down and turned round and gave me a wink
She said “I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink”
It smelled like turpentine it looked like Indian ink
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink
I didn`t know if it was day or night
I started kissing everything in sight
But when I kissed the cop down on 34th and Vine
He broke my little bottle of love potion number 9
How about that? In their defence their command of English is a thousand times better than my Japanese which runs to little more than Terryaki, Syonara and Yoko Ono. So from now on I am determined to be a “foppery jinx”.
By the way, in case you missed the video posted on our Home link on this site it is a part of an American series called Why This Song? The song in this case being Love Potion Number 9. Check it out.
Frank Allen
(foppery jinx)